Showing posts with label female. Show all posts
Showing posts with label female. Show all posts

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Balancing Male and Female

Balancing Male and Female



The “Secret of Sex Transmutation” chapter of THINK AND GROW RICH suggests that you take the same “energy” invested in thinking or engaging in sex and apply it to your material dreams.    That the the mingled emotions of faith, love, and sex intensifies human thought to its highest level,  and that men and women who achieve at the highest levels also tend to have very sexual natures, which is highly related to their drive, ambition, creativity, and accomplishment.

“The Art of Erotic Intelligence” takes this idea and runs with it.  Amara Charles has studied sexual magic from multiple traditions, and taught workshops in this challenging—and delicious—discipline around the world.  The kind of lady who will literally climb mountains in Tibet to spend a few hours with the right teacher.  Very much a kindred spirit.

I knew I could not write such a course on my own.  Why? Well...

1) While I’ve studied the disciplines, I don’t  “live there.”  I have the knowledge in my body and unconscious, but lack the languaging, and conceptual mastery to teach.

2) I’m kind of a guy.  That means that no matter what I do, I’m going to see things from a Yang perspective first.   I can ignore this, or over-compensate, but I can’t simply relax and flow without skewing perspective.  I NEEDED that feminine energy to complete the balance.  

Amara and I clashed for years on what this or that aspect of this concept meant, or could be or should be applied.   But ultimately, we realized that the very lack of total agreement was no weakness, but rather a strength. That we were actually representing, in every “spirited discussion”, the very difference in perspectives that has  deviled (and enlivened) the relationships between men and women through history.   But it also represents the difficulty we have mastering communication within ourselves.  The Left-Brain/Right-Brain split.   The Parent-Child split (and flip a coin as to which is which.  No pejoratives implied!) The Healer-Warrior, or Artist-Engineer,  Explorer and Homemaker, Flesh and Spirit, or Heart and Head, or Creator and Banker, or…or…

If you have experienced imbalance in any of these arenas.  If you suffer writer’s block, can’t quite figure out how to get paid for the work you do, lack drive and motivation, keep getting dumped into the “friend” category in relationships,  can’t access your intuitive or calculating sides, “need” the love and approval of others, can’t “understand  the opposite sex” or satisfy your sexual hungers ethically and without masks or deception,  or any number of other manifestations of imbalance between the “male” and female” aspects of their inner or outer lives…then “The Art of Erotic Intelligence” is for you.

Now, Amara is in an ecstatic relationship with her partner Shyena, so this isn’t a matter of heterosexuality.  That duality goes WAY beyond mere physical gender.  The male and female aspects aren’t like livers and kidneys—they don’t precisely exist outside of human perspective.  But they are superb metaphors for the internal world, as well as relating to the joining together of human beings in loving,  sexual relationships, social or commercial relationships.

In Tantra yoga, the model of human evolution includes the “chakra” system, where the balance of male and female frees “energy” to rise to the next level and confront the next set of challenges.  In life, balancing your creative/editing, long term/short term planning or fear/love drives can create chaos, stagnation, and unbelievable frustration.   While  the techniques for accessing the “left brain” aspects can be written and described easily, the “right brain” flow state aspects are more elusive, more magical, and seem esoteric or even mystical to those stuck in the linear mode.

It doesn’t have to be that way.  Men and women can have both.  It is your heritage and strength.  The “Art of Erotic Intelligence” is pretty close to unique, a first step to blending these two arenas in a way I’ve never seen, and that, if you actually hear what is being said, and PUT IT INTO YOUR BODY by performing the exercises (which are unbelievable fun!) you will, in thirty days, grasp a truth of our existence that cannot quite be put into words.

For just three more days, this breakthrough course is available at a reduced price, and with special incentive.  If any of what I have said speaks to you, this may be what you have always sought…a hunger you couldn’t quite define, let alone satisfy.

Passion is power.  

Namaste,
Steve
Www.realeroticintelligence.com

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Saturday, May 20, 2017

Being a Feminist is Hard and Other Thoughts from a Filmic Female Dreamer

Being a Feminist is Hard and Other Thoughts from a Filmic Female Dreamer


Prepare for a post full of paradoxes. About time I gave meaning to the shitty, nonsensical title I gave this blog when I was 14 and impaired by my Inception obsession.


I swore I would never write a big post on the state of feminism/females in the film industry. But after Ryan, who will forever be the rabbit I chase (not insinuating you are a rabbit, Ryan, but you get the metaphor Im heading for here), posted a piece on Lena Dunham not pushing her case for females being given opportunities in the whole entertainment industry hard enough, I chimed in on the comments section. And hey, in the two hours of lectures that came after that comment, I decided I want to make a post on this ongoing saga.

Ive never seen anything Lena Dunham has done apart from This is 40. Girls has been on my watchlist but considering I still havent seen Game of Thrones season three, I dont think Ill be getting around to it any time soon. So really, I cant judge her standings on anything, but she did raise some valid points at SXSW where she noted that Adam Driver is getting some great role offers, yet the central female cast are not. Ryan said that Lena should aspire to write about more females rather than the ones she knows of. Fair points all round.



This is where I stand on feminism. You probably know by now that I want to be a filmmaker. Its leaning more towards writing screenplays because I want to write about females. The reason that I want to be a filmmaker stems back to the literal moment that Kathryn Bigelow won an Oscar for Best Director in 2010 (though she did win for a largely "male" film, which critics are quick to point out, but AT LEAST IT HAPPENED). Late last year, likely due to procrastination, I found myself reading Indiewire religiously, especially the Women in Hollywood/other pieces on women. Anything else I could find on the internet about this topic, I would read. I still do it. However, as this is inspiring and fuels my aspirations more, its also poisonous.



I dont claim to know what it is like in the film industry for a filmmaker, and maybe in 20 years if I ever do achieve my dream my tune will be changed. But I feel like all we ever do is talk about these problems. Sure, its great to talk. Its what Im doing right now. If I were to ever become famous enough to do a Ted Talk or something (which is one of my many weird aspirations), this is what Id be saying:

Continuing to talk about these problems with a low rate of females in the film industry is like that eight year old girl who begs her parents to let her have a pony but she lives on the 10th floor of an apartment building in the middle of a city. But she wants one just because that’s the thing you want when you’re an eight year old girl. If she were to have the pony, she’d have to go live on a farm, go back to the grassroots, and work hard to look after that pony. What we need to do is go back to the root of the problem and start again. Work hard to preserve what we want if we want it enough. Creating the opportunities instead of settling with the opportunities made available to us. Because that girl is never going to get a pony on that 10th floor. If she really wanted it, she’d have to create her own opportunities and work hard to preserve it. Im not saying that the eight year old girl can go out and buy a farm, but its not entirely impossible either. Her parents may keep telling her no, and then all of a sudden when that girl is able to buy her own farm, she no longer wants to have a pony. If we keep pointing out the flaws in the system, were going to stop wanting to fix them.

Perseverance is key. The uncompromising power that you threaten the normal with is key. Creating the opportunities that you want to see, instead of talking about them for many people to go "hey, cool idea kid", but they dont actually do anything about them.





But hey, who am I to talk? Im not a filmmaker. I dont even fully believe in my dream (thanks to other poisonous ideals that come with the film industry). If I still persevere with this dream, this is the change Id like to see. All I have to do is think back to moments like Kathryn Bigelow winning an Oscar, Cate Blanchett outing the sexism in Hollywood in her Oscar acceptance speech, Jessica Chastains character in Zero Dark Thirty, the filmographies of the likes of Blanchett, Chastain, Katharine Hepburn, Meryl Streep, Amy Adams etc etc etc to see that great stuff has happened, so instead of complaining, lets persevere.





And yet, the biggest flaw in the system is that we constantly have an arrow in the back of these mythical "strong female characters". You wanna know one of the most underrated characters of 2013? Margot Robbie as Naomi in The Wolf of Wall Street. Here we have a film clearly about misogyny, and an extremely misogynistic man, and in the middle of all this we have this woman who fits Jordan Belforts misogynistic ideals. People were quick to comment on the fact that Margot doesnt wear much in the way of clothing, but heres what she has to say:
"As for my character in particular, the nudity and the sexual side to her is her main power over Jordan. She uses that to manipulate men to get what she wants. That’s her form of currency in a world where she’s surrounded by millionaires, and she’s come from nothing. She didnt have any money whatsoever. That’s how she became a millionaire, you know? So she definitely wouldnt see it that way. She wouldnt feel sorry for herself for having to take her clothes off. She would do that willingly. In fact, she would pity the men that are dumb enough to fall for it. It’s her form of power, so it wouldnt feel exploitative for my character at all."
Shes just as materialistic and money-obsessed as Jordan, just in a different way. And at the end of the film, the domestic violence comes into play and that became a big controversy, but does that mean that Naomi loses her power over Jordan? Is she weak? No and no. Shes a fighter, Jordan is a heinous and disgusting man. And yet, all anyone wanted to talk about were all her nude scenes, and how that weakened her "feminist standing". She made a complete fool of Jordan and his stupid ideals! Also, it was a perfect deconstruction of the "trophy wife" being a part of the prized American Dream. We see her right from her introduction into the dream and how she gets out of it.

The "strong female character" is something that makes it so hard to be a feminist. Critics are quick to say that Katniss Everdeen is a great female character because shes strong, but shes weakened by her love triangle. As soon as men come into play, females lose their "strength". Maybe its because of an over-saturation of romantic comedies. But, I dont know, just because Im a female who might be in love with a guy, does that all of a sudden mean that Im a weaker human being? Feminism and the "strong female character" seems bent on erasing males. If its equality youre looking for, you may as well show how they can balance and co-exist and stop trying to have them in a power play thats all based on strength. Weak women are interesting. Powerful women are interesting. Weak women pretending to be powerful are interesting. WOMEN CAN BE INTERESTING. You just need to give them a chance to be interesting.


Also, "strong female character" is basically a synonym for "female character given male qualities to be seen as strong". Can we stop with this notion that males are the end all of strength? MALES AND FEMALES ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF PEOPLE. This does not mean that they arent equal. Just because a woman puts a lot of effort into her appearance, is scared of breaking her nails, dyes her hair all the time, wears lots of make-up does not mean that she isnt strong. In fact, actresses are the strongest of all because they have to put up with the bullshit Hollywood standards. Thats another post in itself (because the tabloid industry is just ridiculously sexist). Just dont ever think for one second that making a female character with solely male sensibilities will make them a "strong female character". A woman can break down crying if she wants to (case in point: people who didnt understand why Maya was crying at the end of Zero Dark Thirty). A woman can pin all her hopes on a man if she wants to. A woman can yell and scream until she gets what she wants. The moment you start looking for the qualities of a "strong female character", youve lost a good female character.

Lets stop pretending like females dont happen in Hollywood. They have before, they are now. Lets keep persevering and stop poisoning.

Otherwise, people like me wont want to write films about female characters because we dont want them to be so dependent on males. We want to make them appropriations of all of these contradictory feminist ideals, so much so that they arent human. Everyones so quick to say that theres a right and wrong way of writing female characters. And its awfully restricting.

We are never going to have a perfect balance. We are never going to have equal opportunities. But to have people actually trying is better than nothing.

One last thing: it isnt the fault of women that theyre under-represented in films. If we spent all of our energy waiting for the person at fault to fix their wrongs, were going to be waiting an awful long time. Be the change you want to see. Thats all there is to it.

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